QTC/Black Swan’s Cat on a Hot Tin Roof – A review

Among amateur theatre companies Cat on a Hot Tin Roof is something of a staple – the Brisbane Arts Theatre, for example, staged two productions within 10 years of each other. And with good reason, the roles – by virtue of Tennessee William’s exquisite writing – are virtually actor proof (providing the southern accent is mastered) and it is considered a perfect example a classic three act play. With the professionals – QTC and WA’s Black Swan State Theatre Co. – taking it on as a co-production you would hope for a lift in quality commiserate with the ticket prices, particularly in the production values, if not the performances and, thankfully, this production delivers on both fronts.

Setting the tone is Bruce McKinven’s design – it’s fresh, concept driven and delicious on the eye, as befitting a modern main stage production, but the reverence for time and place – William’s atmospheric 1950s Mississippi Delta plantation – is all pervasive. McKinven pays homage to the iconic 1958 film version with some carefully handpicked elements – Maggie’s dress design, for example, and Big Daddy’s cashmere robe – but he was not visually enslaved to it, either. Aficionados of the film will spot the markers, but hopefully appreciate the differences – Maggie’s dress, while modelled on the version Elizabeth Taylor wore, is dark green and it’s a stunning change (as per McKinven’s brief for the costume design). McKinven’s use of colour – greys, dark blues and greens – plays to the darker themes in the play, with his use of Spanish Moss an inspired touch.

For the actors, the spectre of the film is arguably harder to discard. Audiences don’t want imitation, but there’s only so much room for deviation when characters are so deeply ingrained in a collective psyche. The casting of Cheree Cassidy as Maggie the Cat – coming via television’s Underbelly: The Golden Mile and Paper Giants: The Birth of Cleo – has been well-publicised and, no doubt, Cassidy felt the weight most keenly. Elizabeth Taylor may have made the most indelible mark on this career highlight of a role, but it’s also been played by such luminaries as Ashley Judd on Broadway and Francis O’Connor in London’s West End.

Cassidy opened the play in battle mode. She tackled the first act – essentially a monologue delivered to her unresponsive husband, Brick – with all the right lines and actions, but you could see the rehearsal process. Conceding opening night nerves, she wasn’t quite there to begin with. Her accent was too restrained, as though she feared drawling out her vowels in case of exaggeration. She needn’t have worried, when she dropped in and relaxed – about twenty minutes in – the hard working actress disappeared and a convincing, sympathetic and enchanting Maggie emerged.

As Brick Pollitt – the dissolute ex-footballer, drunk and younger son of plantation owner, Big Daddy – Tom O’Sullivan (Cassidy’s fellow Underbelly: The Golden Mile alumni) serves the role well. Playing a disengaged character is difficult – while Brick is indifferent to his wife’s emotional and sexual needs and everybody else around him, the actor must still be engaged with the ensemble and the audience. O’Sullivan managed this dichotomy nicely, delivering his best moments in his lengthy scene with John Stanton as Big Daddy.

Stanton’s Big Daddy hit all the right notes, so it seems picky to point out his lack of  ’stature’, however, it was hard to dislodge the feeling that he  just wasn’t big enough to play a character called Big Daddy.  Perhaps it’s the very large shadow of Burl Ives, but silver fox Stanton looked altogether too trim and healthy to be a man on the verge of death as the result of his appetites.

It’s a minor gripe in otherwise perfectly cast play. All the support roles were well cast with the actors easily finding the cadence and lyricism of William’s dialogue.  Hugh Parker and Caitlin Beresford-Ord portrayals as Gooper and his wife Mae, respectively, – whether intentionally or not – were very close to the film version, but they worked well. Likewise their four no-necked monsters – they didn’t have a lot to do, but it’s important to the play’s continuity that the children are convincing, which they were.

Carol Burns as Big Mama, however, was the standout. All the usual superlatives apply to what was a flawless performance by this veteran of the stage. Maybe unfairly, but not surprisingly, she received the loudest round of applause at curtain call.

For film and theatre buffs, the plot of Cat needs little elaboration. It is a play relished for its characters and themes, not for cathartic resolution or an unmasking of who dunnit. However, for those who are only familiar with the film version, the stage version can be a revelation. The references to homosexuality – namely Brick and Skipper’s ‘friendship’ – are far more overt in the play, whereas the film is so obscure about the issue it’s easy to miss what the problem at the heart of Maggie and Brick’s marital discord actually is, such was censorship in the 50s. Ironically, it’s this very censorship that contextualises how taboo talking about homosexuality was at that time and which aids understanding of Brick’s self-destructive behaviour.

Ultimately, Cat is a play that demands fidelity to its setting and the time in which was written. Like performing Shakespeare, embracing the language of the play is paramount. On all levels this production is faithful enough to please purists – especially lovers of the film version – without kowtowing to a preconceived idea of how it should be.  Director Kate Cherry’s reverence for this play and Williams’ writing is evident, but it’s her intimacy with its characters and her ability to nurture the relationships between them that make this a must-see for lovers of Tennessee Williams’ plays.

If Cat on a Hot Tin Roof is already one of your favourites, you will have every reason to enjoy – and relish – this production. For younger generations who may be unfamiliar with Williams’ seminal work, there will be no better introduction. QTC/Black Swan’s Cat on a Hot Tin Roof is quality theatre which has landed on its feet running.

Cat on a Hot Tin Roof runs from 15 August – 3 Sept. Tickets are available through QPAC.

 

 

Murdering Stepmothers: The Execution Martha Rendell by Anna Haebich

Long before Disney cashed in on her notoriety, the sinister archetype of the murdering stepmother has held the collective psyche in thrall like no other villain. In an intriguing interlacing of fact and fiction, Anna Haebich takes this morbid fascination as her premise to investigate the trial and execution of Martha Rendell — a Perth woman convicted of poisoning to death three of her stepchildren in the early 1900s and the last woman to be hanged in Western Australia. Rather than a straight forward fictionalised biography, Haebich has chosen to narrate the story through a succession of characters either lifted directly, or composited from, the historical record. These multiple points of view give a Haebich a nuanced means of conveying the prevailing attitudes (particularly towards women), bigotry and religious dogma of the time, whilst entertaining variously informed opinions on Rendell’s guilt or otherwise. Rich in detail, it is a narrative devise calculated to show what a woman in Rendell’s position was up against and how she was unlikely to have ever received a fair trial. The detail comes as a product of Haibich’s meticulous research which she uses to close the gap between the known facts of the case and what could have just as likely have happened. Haebich articulates possible theories, alternative scenarios and the forensic and psychological thinking of the day through the speculative musings of her narrators. It is a display of knowledge that makes for interesting reading, but it does stretch the bounds of credible characterisation at times. Haebich’s formal prose is in keeping with the era, without being unnecessarily flowery. After four male voices, with their necessary, era-specific sexism, however, there is a strong desire for the author to speak for herself and lay bare her own conclusions on Rendell’s trial and execution. Haebich satisfies this need by writing as the fifth and final narrator —’The Researcher’ and only woman to offer her opinion. Ultimately, what Haebich achieves — through her own voice and the cumulative effect of her male narrators — is a persuasive argument against trials by media, public hysteria (witch hunts) and the malignant employment of stereotypes to condemn a person, all of which resonates as being just as applicable to the modern age as it was 100 years ago. It is also the closest thing to a fair trial stepmother and convicted murderer, Martha Rendell, will ever receive.

The Writing Class – Jincy Willet

I adored every syllable of this book. Pure reading pleasure loaded with lots of clever word-play on a satisfying acidic base.

Writing a review of Jincy Willet’s The Writing Class is something of a self-conscious exercise, given the book is structured around the students of a creative writing class critiquing the work of their fellow classmates. Through the advice Willet dispenses via her main character Amy Gallup – a lonely, widowed and long past her peak author who takes this Adult Education Creative Writing 101 class – it is patently clear that Willet ‘knows her way around a sentence’ as one character intones in the book. She’s also a master at lessons 1-9, which form the chapter headings of the book: Making Stuff Up; Showing and Telling; The Will Doing the Work of the Imagination, etc. Willet, a creative writing teacher herself, practices what Amy teaches and to extend using ‘the inexorable logic of metaphor’, she wields her creative writing talents like a practised psychopathic killer who doesn’t want to get caught. As testament to her own craft, Willet recreates a plethora of good and bad writing samples to represent the range of her character’s abilities, styles and personal agendas, which she then offers up for meta-analysis by Amy and her students. It’s clever stuff and somewhere amongst the creative writing jargon, cliché traps and bad prose there is an unpublished author whose big sum of rejection letters has unleashed a wacky and very nasty streak which eventually leads them to commit murder.

This is a ‘who-dunnit?’ with a twist on the usual cast of stock characters, because while Willet plays on the notion of ‘types’ – as the cover artfully conveys – her ‘types’ are as real and diverse as any members of an adult education class you could hope to find (or perhaps avoid) and if you’ve ever participated in such a class you’ll know where Willet plucked the inspiration for her characters. As to the clues, they’re all there – in retrospect – but not where you think they are and you’ll be hoping, like Amy − who’s only just behind you as detective − that none of the suspects are the killer because you like them all too much and you’ll probably be as surprised as she is when the murderer is revealed.

What makes The Writing Class such a reader’s delight is Willet’s deliciously caustic and book-smarts wit, which, for the lion’s share becomes Amy’s acerbic, ‘been there, done that’ wit. Having asked the class to nominate their favourite writers, Amy then translates this information into amusing, short-cut personality descriptions which becomes a useful a reference guide for keeping track of the thirteen students/suspects taking her creative writing class. Amy also keeps a blog, the contents of which are all for your reading pleasure and if ‘hybrid book titles’ and their one sentence plot summations - Gone with the Windows for DummiesStarting the Civil War;
Customising Your Decimated Plantation; That Scary General Sherman, for example − don’t tickle your cerebral funny, then you’re probably not a book lover or children falling off swings while the camera is rolling is your idea of a laugh.

The Writing Class doesn’t fit easily into any one category of popular fiction. It’s comparable to The Jane Austen Book Club in that it brings together a disparate group of people that share a common interest: the ambition to be a published author vis-à-vis a love of Jane Austen. Parallels also reside in the thoroughly modern day California setting, the shameless appropriation of references to well-known authors and the use of emails and other internet interfaces throughout the text, but the comparisons end there. The Writing Club bears no resemblance to a romantic comedy destined for a Hollywood screenplay and, if anything, takes its plotting and suspense cues from an Agatha Christie, without so much as a boy meets girl subplot to spark off a red herring.

Brilliantly original, The Writing Class gives creative writing – and popular fiction − a good name with its galloping rhythm, pointy humour, embarrassing all-too-human characters and unexpected plot twists that don’t stretch the bounds of the credibility – including The Epiphany – as lesson 9 instructs. For anyone harbouring that clichéd ambition of ‘writing a novel one day’, The Writing Class will be two parts inspirational, two parts instructional, three parts reality check and four parts pure reading pleasure. Enjoy and then hope Willet − unlike her memorable creation, Amy Gallop − knows how to keep those creative writing juices flowing well into the future.

 

Stick or Twist by Eleanor Moran

For the formulaic and prolific genre that chic-lit has become in ‘the naughties’, the better examples of it are not served well by twee covers that use hot pink curly font, love hearts and pale blue flowers to sell what’s between the pages. The cover of ‘Stick or Twist’ (not to mention the title) does it a huge disservice because Moran’s debut novel is not just another Bridget Jones bland-off that takes us down into the dirty, desperate world of man-trapping when a woman is over the age of 30. Certainly, as plot device, single women on the prowl past their supposed prime, shows no signs of fading – they just turn 40 and turn a television series into much hyped film – and Stick & Twist is not defying the rules, but Moran has brought the genre up to date. Her references to the ‘self-help witches’ playing their mantras in the heroine’s head need no explanation for those likely to read her book and they’re also very funny, in contextual way.

Determined to do as the adage says and not judge a book by its cover, I flicked to the first chapter to discern whether I could spend a weekend in bed – and give up sleep into the wee hours – for Stick & Twist. The opening gambit −’Saturday mornings are the most menacing time. Teeth brushed and genitals soaped, this is the moment when ‘monogamous man’ stalks his prey’ – convinced me to buy a bottle of red to go with. Tick box one for engaging chic-lit – lots of pithy one-liners, wry observations and self-conscious clichés worked over with an original twist. Box two is a heroine ‘just like us’ (or close enough to relate) – Anna Christie has a job she’s unsatisfied with, but she’s still within a professional cooee of the glam and vacuous and she has a small circle of flawed and interesting, but loyal girlfriends. It sounds like a write-by-numbers book about a single and 30 something girl finding love in London and it is, but Moran starts the book off on a more original premise than most and she imbues Anna with so much emotional integrity that to say this book is a ‘good’ example of its genre is to woefully undersell its charms, much like the cover does.

Unlike Bridget and her moan clones, Anna has a great guy (an Aiden if you need a SATC point of reference) – a boyfriend of 10 years that’s just proposed to her – only trouble is she’s bored as flying marsupial droppings with him and the thought of marrying ‘the one’ is looking more like marital penury that happily ever after. She’s not the dumped – a refreshing change in itself – but the dumpee and all the wretchedness that stems from leaving a long term partner for greener and steamier pastures is weighted with its due and true sentiments here, as Anna enters the inevitable dating fray for the first time in 10 years. The strength of Moran’s writing is her ability to convey the mental and emotional anguish Anna is experiencing − picking up on those little things that anyone who’s been there only knows too well – post break-up, without diffusing it too much with over-clever humour or sarcastic asides. Marian Keyes has virtually created a monopoly out of the style, but Moran does it just as well. She also gives Anna – the cocaine snorting scene being a good example − those shifts of perspectives and a burgeoning maturity that happens once someone is over the age of thirty, without patronising those in their twenties, at the same time. Writing in the first person like Keyes often does, Moran is similarly able to give Anna perceptive insights into her own behaviour and self-absorption, making her an all too relatable mix of goody too-fabulous-shoes (shoe worship being mandatory in this genre) doing battle with her inner selfish minx.

The other characters are just believable and well drawn, even the ones who are observed as humorous foils – Horst, the flatmate from Stuttgart is particularly endearing. Refreshing, also, is the nice guys outnumbering the bad boys – or at least matching them numerically − and it’s no give away to say Anna has a fling with the later and ends up with the former. Other threads of the story are invariably as predictable but there are still enough twists to make you want to stick to the end to see it conclude happily before the weekend is out. This is book you’ll devour and then pass onto a girlfriend with a ‘I think you’ll really like this one.’

 

Reunion by Andrea Goldsmith – A Review

I had the pleasure of listening to Andrea  Goldsmith speak about this book at the Sydney Writers Festival in May 2009 and was very pleased to find it in a secondhand book shop, after failing to find it a regular book store, some months after.


Four friends – Ava, Jack, Helen and Connie, their bonds formed in their early, idealistic years at university – are reunited after 20 years. Ava is a bestselling novelist, Helen a world renowned molecular biologist, Conrad – ‘Connie’ – is a philosopher with a popular following in the mould of Alain de Botton and Jack is an expert – albeit an underachieving one – in comparative religions and, a now in demand, authority on Islam. Their careers and intellectual pursuits have taken them to institutions the globe over but with an opportunity to become part of a new all-Australian think tank, NOGA − headed by Ava’s barely tolerated husband, Harry − they have all been brought back together in Melbourne, hoping the proximity will be enough for them pick up where they left off.

The reunion itself is merely Goldsmith’s starting point for burrowing into each character’s life as they are now, what they were 20 years ago and how they might possibly end up tomorrow. The connective tissue of story is each character’s contemplation of their present circumstances in relation to their shared pasts and uncertain futures. Their plaster-cast middle aged temperaments, insecurities and foibles feed into the dynamics of the relationships between them – particularly Jack’s resilient love for the married Ava − and is what drives the narrative tension. Personable and flawed, you come to accept and understand these characters as you do your own best friends without their social veneers, but you also know when they’re likely to falter on a misplaced hope or an act of self-delusion.

Each character’s points of view and their back stories are entered into seamlessly, but there is not enough differentiation in style to lend each of them a completely unique voice. They are all flawlessly educated, knowledgeable and articulate − their thoughts crafted by a very competent novelist, but not a novelist who is willing to compromise the finesse of her writing technique to effect more than subtle change between characters or risk a messy, repetitive paragraph to a stream-of-consciousness of a character on the edge.

Universities provide a natural backdrop for novels that want to grapple with ideas and higher order thinking within learned domains and Reunion is perfectly at home in this setting. Linked to that, older men in academia justifying sexual liaisons with much younger women under their tutelage is almost a staple of well regarded, thinking person’s fiction. J.M. Coetzee has used it, as too, Zadie Smith. Goldsmith follows a different tact by allowing just such a relationship to be dissected without the immediacy or intensity of the present tense, or even the recent past. Through selective disclosures from Ava’s memory, her relationship with a much older man while she was a teenage undergraduate is filtered through a circumspective, mature-age female lens and avoids being occluded by moral absolutism. The relationship gradually takes more primacy as the novel unfolds and its heartbreaking intimacy lingers long after the last paragraph. To cover her bases, as if perhaps the retrospective romance of Ava’s relationship might condone the union and its power imbalance, Goldsmith burdens the character of Connie with a short attention span when it comes to relationships with women and a penchant for much younger ones. Unless you are a man with a similar predilection, then sympathy is too strong a word for what Conrad elicits from the reader as a character, but certainly Goldsmith allows him to be understood and pitied, and not too reviled, particularly as he is eventually met with some due comeuppance.

Reunion is equally a love story and a treatise on love − both the kind that is fossilised in long term friendships and the passionate, consuming kind. Through its characters exploratory, analytic ruminations – who are given to examining the lives of each other as much as their own − it artfully avoids being waylaid into easy sentimental traps, but neither is it dismissive of high passion and emotional extremes − just circumspect and very, very thoughtful. The book fairly teems with ideas to be mulled over and the benefit of writing about smart, high achievers with differing fields of interest is that these ideas − on friendship, memory, nostalgia, romantic love, marriage and fidelity, religion, philosophy, humanity, science, professional ethics and integrity – can be weighed up, drawn out, examined, turned over and evaluated, without steering the narrative off course. It is the discussion and play with personal, moral and ethical dilemmas that paves the way to the book’s climax and as a reader you are primed to go there with both your heart and your mind well and truly switched on.

Sunshine Coast program leads the way on education for young mothers

Granted it’s not the snappiest of titles, but I’m not in the mood for puns and I hate seeing the word ‘hope’ in newspaper headlines.  Anyway, this week’s post — yes, that’s right we’re going weekly (from now on, more or less) — is an article I wrote last year on STEMM — Supporting Mothers with Education, Mothering and Mentoring — located at Burnside High School on the Sunshine Coast. This is the same program that was featured on 60 Minutes a couple of months back, but I wrote this long before then. I knew about STEMM because my roller derby team, the Coastal Assassins (CARD), made STEMM their charity of choice to sponsor with a percentage our profits. I hope you’ll agree it’s a worthwhile cause.

 

Adrian Nightingale gave birth five months ago to a baby girl, three days shy of her own 17th birthday. With her cherubic features and school girl inflections, however, Nightingale seems younger. Typically, for a teenage mother, she won’t be able to finish high school with her peers at Chancellor State College because she has to look after her daughter, Kira, instead. Nightingale is fortunate, however, because in addition to living at home with the full support of her parents, she has a chance of realising her goal to become a primary school teacher thanks to a program on the Sunshine Coast with a revolutionary approach to educating teenage mothers.

Nightingale is endearingly optimistic as she talks about her future while jiggling Kira’s dimpled legs on her lap.  She is also a besotted and devoted mum and she insists she has no regrets.

“It’s one of the best things that has happened to me,” she says. “And most people are becoming a teen mums these days, anyway,” she adds with no intentional hyperbole.

Statistically, there is some relative truth to this assertion as Nightingale is part of recent trend towards a slight increase in teenage births – the first in almost 40 years. Prevention, in the form of quality sex education and readily available, reliable contraception, according to sexual health experts in a 2004 report released by Family Planning Australia, has been effective in reducing the incidence of teenage pregnancy (and the spread of STIs) since the early ’70s.  And while access to safe abortion might be considered to be at the cure – and controversial – end of things, it has also played a part in the steady decline of births to teenagers from an Australian Bureau of Statistics reported peak of 55.5 births per 1000 in 1971 to 16 births per 1000 in 2007. It 2008, that figure began to rise and while ABS figures for 2009 – released this week – show the national rate has since lowered again, back to 17 births for every 1000 in Australia, Queensland is the only state (with actual figures set for release next month) that did not report a decline in teenage fertility for 2009.

Some cite this increase as evidence, reported in a 2008 La Trobe University study into the sexual health of secondary school students, that teenagers are more sexually active than even six years ago. Others accommodate the increase as part of general baby boom that has happened amongst all women of childbearing age. What isn’t in dispute, according to a 2004 Queensland Government report, is that teenage mothers – whatever their numbers – are more likely to experience, “… long term unemployment, poorly paying job options, lack of school qualifications and poor psychosocial outcomes”.

It was to that end, in 2008, that Jacqui Deane, a former high school teacher, recognised a real need on the Sunshine Coast to provide a program for young mothers to reengage with education and assist them with mothering and life skills.

“There’s whole generation of alienated youth and this is just one group we can help,” Deane says. “They know about contraception,” she insists, “but often these girls just want someone to love and to love them.” What they needed, Deane believed, were mentors to show them how to be good mothers and engaged women. What she also found, by talking to young mothers, was that they wanted to be able to finish their education.

Deane raised the issue one day at a meeting in which the principal of Burnside High School was present and as a result STEMM – Supporting Mothers with Education, Mothering and Mentoring – was born. The program, which has been running for almost two years, currently has 42 girls enrolled – of which Nightingale is one – with more on the waiting list and is based in classroom block at Burnside High School near Nambour. The numbers prove there is a need for this type of program, according to Deane, and while STEMM is not the first school-based program in Australia designed to assist young mothers to continue with their education, it is unique in that it does not put the girls back into uniform and into mainstream classrooms.

“That wouldn’t work here,” says Deane. “They wouldn’t come if we forced them back into a regular classroom.”

As STEMM’s coordinator, Deane, along with assistant coordinator, Janelle Logan, has designed the program to be what she calls “a one stop shop” that provides courses in parenting, relationships and life skills, including cooking and fitness; health services, involving visits from a doctor, midwife and child health nurse and courses to cater for academic learning and career goals. Along with literacy and numeracy, girls can choose to complete a Certificate III in Children’s Services or participate in the Tertiary Preparations Pathways (TPP) course, designed specifically for STEMM by staff at the University of the Sunshine Coast. It is this partnership in particular that marks STEMM as being unique in its approach to meeting the educational needs of young mothers.

Involved since its inception, Emma Kill – a mother of two young boys herself – is the teaching face of TPP at STEMM and relates to her charges more in the manner of an older sister than a teacher. Keeping to university schedules and maintaining consistency in the face of pregnancies, births, sick babies and difficult domestic situations is Kill’s biggest challenge, but she tackles those things with patience and humour.

“She goes out of her way to help us, even on her holidays she will come in,” says Tabitha Kidd of Kill. Kidd, mother to 3-year-old Andrew and Jordon, 18 months, is a mature and engaging 21-year-old with a ready smile. She is one of 12 girls currently enrolled in Kill’s program and came to STEMM in April this year, specifically to do TPP.  With ambitions to become a nurse, Kidd attempted a bridging course to get into university on her own when her first child was 14 months, but had to put things on hold when she fell pregnant again.

“I thought you couldn’t study and have kids at the same time,” Kidd says. “If I could have done it, I’d be finished by now.” Kidd promised herself she’d go back and get and education one day. It was on a visit to the child health nurse that she found out about the TPP program at STEMM and realised it could be the way to achieving her dream of studying nursing much sooner than she thought possible.

While the ultimate aim of TPP is to provide students with an alternative entry pathway to university and to develop the skills required to realise their study and career goals, Kill knows progress can be slow. This year saw the first four girls graduate from the program and enrol in higher education. Two have since put their studies on hold to have another baby. Kill is circumspect about to the pressure to prove TPP’s worth with numbers, but she believes the program is valuable in ways that can’t be put into in a graph.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’ll be crying when the first girl graduates [from university], but for me it’s more about seeing that they’re being loving mums … that they’re engaging with reading and education and that they believe one day they can do it.”

For Deane, too, the whole program is about seeing the transformation in the girls who come into STEMM, often with very low self esteem and no confidence, grow to a point where they’re independent and are “ready to fly”. And Nightingale, who has been with STEMM since the beginning of the year and who has her sights set on doing TPP, is just one young mum STEMM is helping to find her wings.

 

 

What’s your opinion worth?

My first foray into the world of online surveys regarding my consumer habits – and the chance to win ‘easy money’ – came 18 months ago via an invitation from that trusted national institute, Australia Post, after I applied to get my mail redirected. With $5000 for the taking, I signed on under the conditions that all I had to lose was my privacy, my opinions and – in hindsight – a lot of time that could definitely have been used more productively. Besides, I knew winning cash for surveys rendered wasn’t an urban myth – a good friend had won $10 000 that way. I set myself three months to win that $5000.

I blithely signed and waited for the surveys to come. And they did, but this was not going to be money for nothing. The first survey asked me to watch a series of yet-to-air television commercials.  As the first three ‘What’s New’ ads were ‘annoying’ and ‘do not make me want to buy the product’ by numbers 4 – 9 they were ‘even more annoying’ and ‘made me want to boycott the product on principle’. The comment box invited me to say that ‘sticking pins in my eyes would be preferable to sitting through another product endorsement by the smarmy mum type in the ‘What’s New’ ads’.  This was going to be harder than I thought.

Then I did some research. Who knew there were so many online research companies (ORCs) wanting my opinion and promising all sorts of goodies in return? Take me to your login page.  Then it started in earnest. My inbox became flooded with invitations to join a plethora of ORCs offering cash, points, vouchers, $50 000 lotto prize draws and whatever other shiny trinkets they think might appeal to the mindless consumer out there. So I signed on and signed on and signed on again.  The tedium was mind numbing as only data entry can be and I was also now anxious at how many ORCs now knew level of education, employment status, annual income and a host of other personal details I wouldn’t even share with my boyfriend. No I don’t suffer from irritable bowel syndrome thanks, but I was happy to report that another member of my household does.

This enterprise needed some organisation about it. Usernames and passwords were scattered throughout notebooks and miscellaneous bits of paper.  A list was drawn, each entry containing the name of the ORC, my login and password.  Seven seemed quite manageable and not too time consuming, I hoped.

But it didn’t stop there, more  requests dropped into my inbox  – in for a penny, in for a pound of flesh – I  was now signing up for practically anything that threw the words ‘prizes’ and ‘give-aways’, tentatively linked to the words ‘paid’ and ‘surveys’ at me. And as one ‘paid surveys’ link invariably leads to another, the labyrinth got more convoluted the more I filled in vital statistics and rehashed the same password.  This particular maze has no exit and I was now at the point of being invited to sign on to sites I’d already given every scrap of personal information to – short of when I had my last pap smear – only the day before. Lucky, I had my list or wouldn’t know what side of the survey hedge I was on.

My virus protection piped up to warn me that, ‘A recent attempt to attack your computer was blocked’.  Phishing and hacking aside, I knew this was getting dangerous, a concerning number of ORCs now had me in their advertisers’ sights, so there could be a hefty price to pay for that maybe prize money.

Of the surveys themselves, my consumer habits with regards to beauty products, snack foods, fast food, print media, TV programs, electrical goods, groceries and wine have been dissected and analysed to rigor mortis-inducing tediousness. I’ve rated and compared cars, ads, spreads, telecommunications, internet and energy providers, banks and supermarkets with a repetitiveness to rival Bill Murray in Ground Hog Day. I even offered up my teenage daughter for a 35 minute flogging on her brand preferences in sanitary protection. ‘They keep asking me the same questions, just in another way,’ she groaned.  ‘Yes, I know, but could you just finish it. I might win $5000 dollars.’

I was suffering the first signs of survey fatigue syndrome.  They were so relentlessly alike, sometimes identical, which my powers of deductive reasoning led me to believe they were – gasp – designed by the same market research teams. Just when I thought I couldn’t take anymore, I was invited to participate in the daddy of them all – a four and a half hour marathon lifestyle survey by Nielsen (breaks permitted). As far as I could ascertain the whopping 1700 points for taking this survey – which left no personal or spending habit, lifestyle choice or whim unturned – was about as good a reward as you were going to get for the four and a  half hours of your precious time.  Regardless, I pressed on.

By the beginning of the third month I was feeling like a seasoned survey pro.  The invitations were still coming with some regularity, but often my participation was not required after scanning on the basis of age, gender, occupation (the only thing I was not 100% truthful about), location or the fact that I don’t eat peanut butter.  A year into this enterprise, it was pure relief to be excluded, especially when the topic was washing machines and the estimated time to complete the survey was 40 minutes.

Occasionally a survey would come along that wasn’t related to consumer goods and piqued my interest and sense of civic duty.  I was only too happy to give up my views on global warming, politics and water conservation strategies.  My favourite, however, was being asked to rate the likeability of approximately 600 Australian television personalities.  There’s something quite satisfying about using an official forum to say who I ‘don’t like’ or ‘tolerate’ (barely) on the box.

Eighteen months, 100 plus surveys and more hours than I care to recall have not yielded the big cash reward I’ve been clicking mouse for. Not that I’ve come away with nothing. Some ORCs, rather than lure you with prize money, pay you what they think your time is worth. My biggest haul – after earning 1000 points for 18 months work – from the international GlobalTestMarket, was a cheque for $50 ($49.06 after exchange rates).  Valued Opinions dispose with a points system altogether and offer actual cash amounts, ranging anywhere from $1 – $5 for a completed survey depending on length. At $3.50 for a 35 minute survey, rudimentary maths says the occupation of survey taker has limited earning potential. I cashed in my first $20 earned for an iTunes voucher. I’m thinking I’ll get a liquor store voucher for my next $20, given my opinion on cheap red wine continues to be highly sort after.

 

 

Natural Disaster Watching

A rarity of late, it’s a nice Brisbane day – temperate conditions and mostly sunny skies – and from where I’m sitting, in the now dry suburb of Stafford, you’d really have no idea that a grand scale natural disaster was unfolding only 10km away. Except for the non-stop television coverage, that is. After two days of continuous Karl, Leila, Anna, Julia, Campbell and all those perky-faced young women reporting from various scenes of the wet or the newsroom, cabin fever did take hold and I jumped at the chance to get out and tag along with my partner who, as a press photographer for Fairfax, was on flood paparazzi duties.

Brisbane floods

A flood paparazzo for the Financial Review

We headed first to the safe vantage of Kangaroo Point. The rising torrent of the Brisbane River was certainly a spectacle, but what intrigued me more was the sheer number of people, with cameras in hand, who were out to witness it wreck havoc on the city. This is not a judgement, merely an observation, and while Queensland Premier Anna Bligh may be on the record as saying, “This incident is not a tourist attraction – this is a deeply serious natural disaster”, I think these pictures prove that the first half of that statement is patently false.

Brisbane Floods, Kangaroo Points

Flood tourism flourishes at Kangaroo Point. The media has set up camp overlooking the Brisbane River beside Lick Café (below), which was swamped with customers, not water.

Brisbane floods, Kangaroo Point

Brisbane River, Kangaroo Point

There’s a great view of the Brisbane River from Kangaroo Point.

Of course, Kangaroo Point wasn’t the only place people – or rubber-neckers as they’re known to crowd control professionals – were gathering to witness this once-in-a-generation natural disaster. Closer to the action, down by the base of the Story Bridge, you could get up close and personal with the swollen river as it lapped onto the grass of a popular outdoor park.

Brisbane floods

Police tape is not an effective barrier to stop the serious flood spectator.

Brisbane Floods

Yes, you see correctly. They’ve brought along an Esky full of beer and an iPod dock..

In the CBD, it was a similar story. Cafés, restaurants, shops, banks and offices were all closed for business, but the city was far from being a ghost town. People gathered down by the Eagle Street Pier, or as close to it as police would let them, to take in the novelty of water creeping towards the doorstep of big business (see below).

Brisbane Floods

Brisbane Floods, Alice Street

This was Alice Street the day before the river was set to peak. Turning 180 degrees from where this photo was taken, you could be greeted by this welcoming sign, below.

Brisbane Floods, SEQ Water

Natural disaster watching, when you are not personally affected (and I don’t think a one carton limit on milk/customer at the local IGA really counts as ‘affected’) is very closely related to that other voyeuristic past time – slowing down to a snail’s pace at the site of car accident. I always like to pretend that I’m not the one deliberately holding up the traffic so I can have a gawk, but as we all know it’s very difficult to look away, even if you do zoom off after you can’t strain your neck anymore from looking over your shoulder.

Whether you sat glued to your box or ventured out for a front row/in-the-flesh experience, the reason is the same – you did it because natural disasters are fascinating, especially when they’re in your own backyard. Yes, they are devastating, destructive and heart-breaking – that goes without saying, really. But who among us, even if loved ones and friends were in the flood’s sight, can say they weren’t just a little bit fascinated, flabbergasted and, dare I say it, entertained by the spectacle? I’m not suggesting this is a case Schadenfreude on the part of the high and dry populace of Brisbane, not for a moment – and I think any decent person would be appalled by the idea that anyone would take delight in the terrible misfortune this flood has wrecked – but it’s difficult to deny that we – the rest of Brisbane and Australia – haven’t been willing and transfixed spectators to the theatre of this event. It doesn’t make us less human and, hopefully, all this voyeurism will stir enough compassion within us to compel us to donate money or volunteer our time to help the people who have been affected and, in some cases, literally gutted by this flood (and probably haven’t found it quite as entertaining to watch).

Personally, I’m very grateful my 16-year-old daughter, who was stuck out at Ipswich at her father’s place, is safe and their house made it through with nothing more trying than having the power cut off. I am now waiting patiently until the Centenary Highway and Ipswich Motorway are open again so I can go and get her and give her a very, very long hug.